attend a traditional jewish wedding
It's interesting:"I think you'll all agree that it's been a wonderful wedding so far. ... But I never received a formal invitation to the wedding, so I just hope I haven't eaten a meal ..."
Even outside of solely Orthodox circles, many young Jewish couples choose to have at least moderately traditional weddings, perhaps to make these occasions further ritualized or to demonstrate their commitment to a Jewish lifestyle. As a guest, it is important to understand the fundamental aspects of these events so that you may both fully appreciate them and act appropriately.
Things You'll Need
- Appropriate attire
- Props (if appropriate)
Instructions
1
Wear appropriate attire. Depending on the couple's customs and level of observance, modest dress may be required (this particularly applies to women, who at the very least are expected to cover their knees and shoulders). A note about dress may be included on the invitation, or you may be able to ask someone familiar with the bride and groom. If you really don't know what is expected, air on the side of caution, noting that very religious communities expect women's elbows to be covered as well.
2
Don't automatically assume you are sitting next to your date. In religious communities, men and women sit and pray separately. Again, depending on the bride and groom's level of observance, the ceremony and/or the meal may be segregated by gender. If this is not the case, the bride and groom may still separate before the ceremony for dual customs called the Tish (for men) and the Bedeken (for women) respectively. These gatherings allow the bride and groom to be surrounded by celebratory (usually single-sex) groups before the official ceremony begins.
3
Ask questions. Both before and during the ceremony, you will likely encounter customs with which you are unfamiliar. While most brides and grooms provide explanations of these for their guests, you may still have questions. Ask them (in a respectful way and at an appropriate time, of course).
4
Break out the funny hats. According to traditional Jewish custom, the guests at a wedding are supposed to entertain the bride and groom. In some circles, guests even bring props like funny hats to fulfill this obligation. While you probably shouldn't bring your own props unless somebody specifically tells you this would be welcomed, get ready to let out your silly side (and don a hat yourself, should they be available).
5
Dance your socks off. According to Jewish tradition, it is required to celebrate with the bride and groom. Whether this means dancing to the Hora or to a Beatles cover band (not all traditional Jewish weddings feature solely Jewish music), arrive with the intention to celebrate.
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