Wedding etiquette for no gifts in lieu of gifts
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Every couple has its own needs and desires, and yours may not include material wedding gifts from your guests. Think twice before you put a note about "no gifts" on your invitation. Telling your guests not to bring gifts on the invitation is just as tacky as including registry cards.
Reason for the Rule
Etiquette dictates that there should be no mention of gifts anywhere on a wedding invitation because there should not be an expectation that guests will bring gifts. By refusing gifts or writing "in lieu of gifts . . ." you are indicating that without such a note, guests are compelled to give you a present. Guests give out of their own generosity, not because they have to under the rules of etiquette or tradition.
Spreading Your Request
Guests who are interested in giving a present will seek out information related to registries or desired gifts. Emily Post suggests letting the information get out by word of mouth or through your wedding website. You can spread the word to close family and bridal party members that you do not desire gifts. When they are asked where you are registered, they can make your wishes known. Likewise, if you prefer your guests give to a charity in lieu of gifts, give this information to your inner circle or post it on your wedding website. Include a link or note on the side of your wedding page explaining that you respectfully request no gifts.
Careful Wording
Do not directly say "no gifts, please" because many guests will want to give you gifts and will not appreciate being told not to do so. Carefully phrase your words so as not to offend. Consider the following examples: "Your presence is the only gift we request." "In lieu of gifts, we ask that you pray for our future together." "In lieu of gifts, we ask that you donate to a charity in our name." Use these phrases or make up your own to let guests know your wishes without sounding like guests are forbidden from giving a material or monetary gift if they please. Remember that all presents deserve thank-you cards. If guests give charitable donations in your name, you should acknowledging their gift with thanks.
Tags: lieu gifts, your guests, your wedding, bring gifts, etiquette giftsSource: www.ehow.com
