Social etiquette at gay marriages
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Whether you're planning to attend a wedding, or are one of the participants, social etiquette for gay marriage is similar to that of a male/female ceremony. While there are no set rules to follow for a same sex wedding, use your best judgment. If this is your special day, don't allow traditional rules to weigh down your dreams for the perfect wedding. Follow simple rules of etiquette to insure a pleasant day for the couple as well as the other guests.
If You are Invited to a Wedding
Specify ways you are able to help. The couple will appreciate the gesture.
They are finally experiencing a dream coming true. The couple has found one another and is now going to have their love celebrated and validated by family, friends, and co-workers. Whether or not you plan to attend the wedding, show respect by returning a response card, buying a gift and, if appropriate, asking what you can do to help plan their special day. Send your gift as soon as possible, but within one year of the ceremony. Do not bring it to the church. If there is a reception following, it is acceptable to bring your gift at that time.
Addressing Gifts and Cards
Some questions you have were likely things the couple questioned too.
Many gay couples wonder word their invitations and often decide to keep their individual names. If you are curious, don't be afraid to open a discussion. Ask them if they will keep their surnames or if they will choose one name. Use their preference to address gifts and cards. Lesbian couples may choose to use Mrs. rather than Miss or Ms., but if you are not sure, use Ms. unless the couple tells you otherwise.
Hold Your Tongue
Only allow your words and actions to be polite.
This should be obvious, but if you are a member of the straight community and you have a conflict with any part of the wedding, be it legal, social or moral issues or whether Jim is the right partner for Mark, keep your comments to yourself. You received an invitation because the couple has faith in you. Your opinions won't change anyone's mind. In fact, the couple might remember one rude comment for years to come. When in doubt, be kind.
Where to Sit
Ask another guest about seating arrangements if you don't see an usher or coordinator.
Depending on the preference of the grooms or brides, you will sit on the side of your family member or friend or you may sit wherever you like. Usually, the first two to three front rows are available for family members. Ask an usher to guide you to an appropriate seat. If the couple has not designated ushers, sit where you see open seating that does not take spots away from the grooms' or brides' families. If you arrive late, wait for a cue from the wedding coordinator, and take your seat quickly.
Plan Ahead
Do your best to help make the wedding pleasant for everyone.
Don't be the one whose cell phone rings in the middle of the vows. Do not bring your children unless they were specifically invited, and never make dietary requests. Instead, hire a babysitter, leave your phone on vibrate or, better yet, in your car. Ask a close friend of one of the wedding party about the menu, and take matters into your own hands on prepare for the meal. This may mean you eat sparingly or not at all during the reception. Although the couple might offer special food, it is not up to them to work around your dietary restrictions.
Tags: attend wedding, bring your, couple might, etiquette marriages, grooms bridesSource: www.ehow.com
