Wedding ceremony etiquette
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Wedding ceremonies can be confusing, especially if you've never attended one before. You need to know how you--an invited guest--should act, and what kinds of things you will be expected to say or do at a typical wedding. Maybe you just want to know how the ceremony proceeds? Learn some of the basic information you'll need to be a great guest at a friend's or relative's wedding.
The Invitation
The Emily Post Institute offers some very important tips regarding your invitation to the wedding, and proceed once you've been invited. First, they suggest RSVPing--or letting the hosts know whether or not you will be able to attend--immediately. This is important, as your hosts will need a fairly accurate headcount for any meals they are catering or halls they plan to rent. Reply as early as you can in order to help out the hosts with their planning, and then respect the invitation.
Emily Post warns that you should not ask if you can bring a date or children, as these people would have been invited formally if their presence was considered welcome at the event. Showing up with uninvited guests can create havoc, both emotional and physical, as the wedding crasher will not have been accounted for by caterers, so just don't do it.
Gifts
Whether or not you are going to attend the wedding, Emily Post insists that you must at least send a gift. Sometimes gifts are sent to the bride prior to the wedding itself, whereas others prefer guests to bring their gifts to the reception. If you are unable to attend, it is customary to send money along with a card expressing your best wishes for the couple. Announcements are sometimes sent after the wedding has taken place- if you receive one, you are not obligated to send a gift in response, though it is certainly acceptable to acknowledge the announcement with a card or letter.
Behavior
Naturally, invited wedding guests ought to be on their best behavior while in attendance. Find out where the ceremony will take place (in a place of worship, public park, private garden, city hall) and dress accordingly. Emily Post advises guests to "pay [their] respects to the hosts, the wedding party and other guests at the reception," and to remember that "the good guest is almost invisible."
Ceremony
Ceremonies can vary widely, depending on the religion of the couple and their choice of space for the event.
Weddings done at city hall are typically the shortest ceremonies of all, with a judge officiating and a small space reserved for guests. The whole event will likely be finished in 15 minutes or less, and the only participants involved are the bride, groom and their two witnesses. Since this is more of a legal ceremony than a religious one, it's important to bring all of the required documents (photo ID for both the couple and their witnesses), but the up-side is that it's short and sweet, not fussy, and guests will be free to move onto the reception almost immediately.
There are plenty of other types of wedding ceremonies as well, including those for gay marriage, interfaith weddings and military ceremonies. When it comes to the ceremony itself, be assured that most of the required action will be played out by the bridal party, and anyone who is expected to perform will be directed by the officiant (usually a religious figure or court official in the case of a city hall wedding), as well as a variety of ushers and well-wishers who are familiar with the drill. There's no need to worry about doing something wrong, so long as you are paying attention and behaving yourself. There are also plenty of etiquette books and websites available for those who are in the bridal party to help familiarize themselves with their expected duties.
Seating
Upon your arrival at the ceremony, helpful ushers will seat you according to your relationship to the couple. They will typically ask if you are with the bride or the groom, and if you are friends with both members of the couple, they may seat you on the side that is the most empty in order to even out the room. Typically, the left side of the church is considered the "bride's side," whereas the right side is reserved for the groom's family and friends.
In a church or synagogue wedding, there is usually a "VIP" section that is reserved for the couple's immediate family and/or close friends who are not a part of the bridal party. If you are a member of one of these groups, indicate to the ushers your relationship to the bride or groom and they will help to seat you accordingly. Some couples may also choose to reserve seats by sending special invitations to those who belong in the VIP section, so be sure to bring your invitation with you if this is the case.
In the case of a city hall wedding, seating will likely be limited and on a first-come, first-serve basis. Be sure to arrive early to get a seat.
Receiving Line
At the end of the ceremony, the wedding party will typically set up a receiving line. As a good guest, you should run the gauntlet and wish everyone well. If you don't know all of the participants, don't worry- most of the time the line will be moving quickly and you will only have time to shake hands (or exchange hugs or kisses) and say "Congratulations."
According to Ebrides.ca, there are two standard versions of the receiving line set-up. The first one uses the following order:
Bride's parents
Groom's parents
Bride
Groom
Maid of Honor
Best Man
Bridesmaid
Groomsman (continuing to alternate between bridesmaids and groomsmen until the party is complete)
The second standard lineup is as follows:
Bride's mother
Groom's mother
Bride
Groom
Maid of Honor
Bridesmaids
The groomsmen in this situation are allowed to mingle, rather than stand in the lineup.
Tags: city hall, Emily Post, bridal party, been invited, bride groom, Bride Groom MaidSource: www.ehow.com
